Well I just finished reading Kindred Hearts: Nurturing the Bond Between Mother & Daughter. While I didn't learn much new in this book, it was a great reminder of where my strength lies......in Christ alone. I cannot give my daughter what she needs, be the mother or daughter I want to be, or endure adolescence without His help. So this book gave me the reminder I needed as my daughter turned 13 last week........to love her, even when she is unlovable.....to let go of my perfectionist ideas of motherhood.....and to remember that my daughter is her own person. There was a great list of what we as mothers need to remember that we may influence our daughters in, but in the end we have no control over.- My pregnancy and my daughter's birth
- Her personality and temperament (this is a biggie for me)
- Her aptitudes, skills and abilities
- The rate of her physical, emotional, spiritual, and social development
- Her health and safety
- Her conversion to Christ
- Her level of academic achievement
- The use of her gifts and talents
- Her size and appearance
- Her abstinence from sex, drugs and alcohol
- Her passions and perferences
- Her friends
- Her college and career choices
- Her financial and social status
- Her selection of a mate and the timing of her marriage
- Her childbearing and child-rearing choices
- Her state of happiness and emotional well-being
So really we have very little control over our daughters and I think the sooner we reallize that we aren't in control, we are only here to guide and to support the easier our job as mothers become.
I love my daughter so much, but I wonder how often I really show that love to her. My desire is to love her unconditionally but how often do I put my own insecurities or faults ahead of that and require perfection from her before I praise? It is my hope and prayer that I show her all the love that she needs and deserves and that I be a mother to whom she can be proud of and respect.
For me, I pray, self discipline and patience rooted in the knowledge that I have been given this great responsibility and privilege of growing up a girl into a woman into God's chosen one.
6 comments:
Read your post on WTM--so here's a comment! lol
I look forward to reading your blog more often.
I know what you mean about wanting to share. Consider it God's job to bring you folks.
Just something else we can't control--how about that.
In Him
Chris in VA
My DD is only 8yo and some days I wonder if I'm going to survive to make it to her 13th birthday. LOL. Girls are so complex. Thanking Jesus everyday that he guides us because I'm lost most of the time in this parenting thing.
I like this post. We have two daughters and this is good for me to remember.
Remudamom from WTM
I saw your post on WTM and I was interested in visiting your blog. You are doing a great job and I learned something from what you shared about being a mom who is insufficient without Christ. I am reminded that my children are really God's children and I am only to love, nurture, teach, and always release them into the Lord's hand and His will- not mine. Thanks for your blog and please keep it up as you are able. In Christ, Susan
Wow! I need to read this book! My dds are 13 & 11. :) I love that wooden figure, who is the creator...I've seen others like it, moms & babies.
Lee (from the WTM board)
I think the wooden figures are from Willow Tree......I liked them too!
Thanks for all the great comments, you guys are great!
Sometimes I wonder if we will survive these adolescent years...but only through God's grace I'm sure.
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